dolution

Analyze both of the messages linked below, and:

1. Decide which message is more effective, saying why
2. For the less effective message, make recommendations for improvements
3. For both messages consider things like the AIDA strategy, language use, organization, etc.

To: Richard Smith richard.smith@sunrisecompany.com
From: Guy Greyson Guy.greyson@sunrisecompany.com
Subject: Remote working
Hello Richard,
Because of the current Covid 19 pandemic, I would propose to let our team work
remotely for 4 days a week. The team meetings and networking as well as signing
important documents manually can still happen at the one day at the office. Our
job as procurement managers can be done at home as efficiently or maybe even
more efficiently than at work. We do not get distracted from doing small-talk with
our colleagues or from the phone calls of the other colleagues in the office. In
addition to that not only can the employees save money and time spent on
commuting to the office, the company can also save money by cutting expenses
regarding heating, water, electricity and coffee.
Without the commuting time our department can start earlier and also stop working
later if needed. The flexible working time does not only help the individuals to plan
other activities like bringing and picking up their children on time but also makes it
possible to be reachable at any time in the day.
According to a survey, 95% of employees enjoy this kind of remote working
because they can cut the commute expenses and can even spend time with their
beloved families at lunch time etc. As we all know employees are the most
motivated and hardworking only when they are the happiest.
Richard, I hope you understand my points and I wish you Merry Christmas and a
happy new year.
Best regards,
Guy Greyson
Procurement department of Sunrise Company